Trust your Gut

It started with a tag on Facebook last week.

“Holly, can you help? Is a this enough information for you?”

I quickly scanned the post it was referring to.

A friend of a friend of a friend (seriously) on FB had posted her story of leaving Vietnam in 1984. This woman, *Sarah, sadly told of how her mother had been kidnapped by pirates from the boat they were on. She also said that she figured her mother had since passed, if only because she thought she could sometimes “feel her around,” but that she was now in limbo because a medium had recently told her otherwise.

I decided to stop reading the post at that point; I didn’t want to know anything further-didn’t want to taint anything.  Sarah simply wanted to know if her mom was alive or… dead. I had her name and her mom’s name…I figured that was all I needed.

I surprised myself in that I wanted to give this a try. I had never attempted something like this before; not only reading someone miles and miles away (that had no idea I was even DOING it), but doing a reading where much of the info I’d expect to procure couldn’t even be verified by the person I’m trying to help!

This is also probably a good time to mention that I’m knee-deep into a meditation class. It’s a weekly online forum where one of my instructors from Ghost School talks about meditation: how to use it, how to do it, what to say, etc. So… I’ve been feeling a lot more “connected” lately. After I read Sarah’s post, I kind of relayed to the spirit world, “I don’t know what my next step is, but if you put it in front of me, I certainly will give it a try.” And so… try I did.

My notes from the reading with names crossed out.

Since I’ve been trying to “sit in the power” MUCH more often for this class, I figured I would add Sarah’s situation into that day’s meditation. I sat down, closed my eyes, “expanded my soul” and tried to connect with someone who could help.

Fairly quickly, I saw a woman. I knew right away it was Sarah’s mother, in a state of the most raw despair. She was screaming but I couldn’t hear her. I just saw her face, she was bent over with fists clenched and mouth and eyes turned down as if her world was ending… It was the face you’d imagine if one was being pulled away from her children. She quickly relayed that she would rather be dead than be in the situation she had been in. She knew that the ending for her was death anyway, and she felt that death was better than the pain she was experiencing. She spared me the detail of her captivity, but i knew it was horrific, emotionally and physically.

If I had had any question as to the fate of Sarah’s mother, that was quickly put to rest. It was then that a message came through from a different source, a BIGGER source. “Trust your gut.” (That was for Sarah. The source was letting Sarah know that she was right all along about her mothers passing.) It then said to me, “We have her. She is fine. She was WRONGED.”


Sarah’s mother stepped back up and began communicating as if she was talking directly to Sarah:

“Your pain is not knowing. You don’t remember.” Sarah’s mom was both telling Sarah AND communicating to me that Sarah didn’t remember what had happened and so Sarah’s pain now was not memories, but the not knowing if her mom had survived. At this point I started wondering “in 1984, if Sarah was MY age she would have been around 10… wouldn’t she remember some of that?” Ughhhh… I hoped my info was right…

I then felt/heard “I can watch you! I’m happy again!” Sarah’s mom was telling me that she was free of her physical body being trapped somewhere else- she could REALLY watch her daughter live! It was at this point that I broke into a happy tears/overjoyed moment. (And don’t forget, I was alone! Ha! I was literally sobbing happily on the couch all by myself!) She literally made me FEEL how proud she was of Sarah- she told me that she was absolutely willing to give up her life to have this life for Sarah. This was her purpose- and she would make the same choices again if she had to. She had no regrets.

She then started giving me some “proof,” if you will. She said there was a “shrine.” But there was a quick addendum of, “Something small but makes you feel attached.” I wrote this down hoping it would make sense to Sarah if I could get this information to her.

Then, I saw Sarah’s mother holding a baby in pink. Initially, the baby girl was Sarah. But then it was as if the meaning morphed, and now this was meant to show me Sarah’s child. The weird thing is, as I heard it, it was, “I know and love the children.” I had only seen her cradling one baby girl, but I heard “childREN.” And so that’s what I wrote. I had a few seconds of doubt, “what if she only has one child and I’m wrong?” But if I’ve learned anything- it’s to go with what Spirit gives me. (What was it Spirit said to me way back when I was worried about getting information wrong? Oh yeah- “You don’t have to be right. You just have to LISTEN.”)

I then got “Boy Girl.” And then quickly thereafter: “5/3” ……But then doubting Holly came in. “Is this how old the kids are now? Crap, this is getting specific.” I’m STILL in that place where it is SO hard to trust what is coming through. I cannot STRESS ENOUGH how subtle this sh&t is. (SERIOUSLY. If that’s the only lesson today, let it be that: SPIRIT CAN BE SUBTLE. “Did I really just hear that?” Remember that in your life, too. Loved ones may be trying to give you signs and you may be missing it because you’re only looking for objects flying across the room!) I then moved into “Is this how old she and her brother were when this happened to them?” (wait, did I just say that? Yes I did. I said “brother.” I wondered if  she had a brother?

The next thing to pop up (and that’s literally what happens- things just pop up!) was “red shirt.” I had received this same message when the reading first started but had blown it off as my own thoughts, but here it was again. I wrote it down.

Then, “August.” I wrote that down too.

Then came the part of the reading that showed me we were at the end. I felt a strong pressure in the right side of my head. It was then that I knew how Sarah’s mother had died. She gave me more than the method- she gave me her feelings too. I knew that she was angry, and combative, and wasn’t going down without a fight. She knew there was no way out, so she wasn’t going down easily. She didn’t fight to get away- she fought for her dignity. She never wanted to let them think they had defeated her, so she was a fighter through and through. And for this, she was punished. A strong blow to the right side of the head had finally bought her the peace she desired… and she was able to see her daughter again. She made me feel like she had been released.


I sent this information initially to the guy who had tagged me on Facebook, hoping he could get the info to Sarah. Two days after I received an email from her:

Now let me step in again and reluctantly let you into the real world of Holly. I check my email, lets say- sporadically. Every couple of days… maybe. So I finally read this email from Sarah the day AFTER her “tomorrow.” She had sent this on Wednesday, I read it on Friday at about 8am. And when I saw it, I was still in bed and I had so much to do and I remember thinking- “sigh… I’ll get back to her later today.” But as soon as I closed my email, the right side of my head started throbbing again. I knew immediately that it was my sign to answer her. So I did. I emailed back and Sarah and I set up a time to talk later that day at 12:30 ET.

Now, I had a few hours to kill- so I did some work then decided to take a bath. At one point, I was relaxed and floating. In my head, I had LOTS of time left.  I looked at my clock- it was 11:15. Perfect- Loads of time to soak! WAIT- 11:15 my time means 12;15 hers! That meant I only had now 15 minutes to wash up and be ready to talk!  Honestly, though? My first thought was that I could do this on “Holly time.” I mean, this is like charity, right? I callously thought, “Meh, I can be a few minutes late on this one…” But then the right side of my head throbbed. Sarah’s mom was on it. I knew I had to get moving.

I face-timed Sarah at 12:30ET EXACTLY and she told me what had happened so far to get her to this point….

Her dog, *Rex, had suddenly become sick. She had had him for three weeks, but then, inexplicably, Rex had lost bowel control during the night…going anywhere and everywhere… for TWO WEEKS.  She then called a dog medium (Huh? Well that story took a turn fast!)  The dog medium told Sarah that a spirit was… basically scaring the sh*t out of her dog. She told Sarah that she needed to get rid of this spirit so that her dog could relax. But she also told her this spirit was a grandmother figure and liked to watch her and the kids, and loved to watch her cook.

This is where it’s kinda funny… Sarah told me that her first reaction was, “This spirit is protecting me! I’ll get rid of the dog before I get rid of the spirit!”

The dog medium asked Sarah if either of her or her husband’s mothers had passed. Sarah’s husbands mother was still alive, but she didn’t KNOW if her mom was or not. She had the dog medium “look into it.” Sarah told me the dog medium used the photograph of her mother to examine the mother’s chakras.

Yeah. I have no idea what that means either. And I AM NOT LAUGHING. And you should STOP laughing! 🙂

I’m kidding. Like I’ve said before, I am certainly not one to judge if things are weird.  But, I would venture to say it wasn’t very accurate (at least in MY opinion) because the dog medium told Sarah that she felt like her mother was still alive.

Sarah relayed that they had purchased a foreclosure home, one that was in worse shape than any other they had considered. She said contractors they hired complained that the home was haunted by an evil spirit, and many ended up injured. She told me that she always reiterated that she felt like the spirit in the home was good and was there to protect her, and then found out that many of those contractors were doing some shady dealings with her. Mom had her back the whole time!

When Sarah and I were able to get to the nitty-gritty of the information I had gathered- she basically confirmed it all. She didn’t remember anything from the boat, and agreed her pain now stemmed from not knowing what happened to her mother.

When I mentioned the “shrine,” Sarah proudly pointed out the ONE picture she has of her mother, framed proudly behind her work desk so that she can see it whenever she turns around.

As for the thing about the baby? Yes. Sarah DOES have two children. One girl and one boy… and her boy is 5 years old. I said to her, “Well, I saw 5 slash 3… Is there anything that the three means to you?” Nothing. I then thought out loud, “could it be the ages you were when this happened to you and your brother? You do have a brother, correct?” She affirmed she did and told me that she was also 5 years old when this had happened on the boat… but that her brother had not been 3.  (I wanted to explain to her that the brother question had been nagging at me since I had finished the first part of the reading!)

I went on to ask her about the red shirt. I mentioned that I had gotten this information two times, once at the beginning of the connection with her mother and again at the end. “Does this mean anything to you?”

“Well, the only thing I can think of is that last week I went shopping and the only thing, like the ONLY thing I bought, was a red shirt. Could that mean she is trying tell me she was with me shopping?”

My eyes were spinning because as she said this, I was taking into account that she was now wearing a red vest… it was like her mom knew not only what she had been doing last week, but also what she would be wearing for our meeting. I laughed and said, “Absolutely! That could easily be that! She wants you to know she’s around!”

For some reason at this point I asked Sarah,”How old is your daughter?”

“13,” she told me.

Chills came over me as I glanced back at my notes.  I realized that the visual I had seen had completely corresponded to the facts, but that my interpretation was off. I saw “5/3”. To me that meant 5 slash 3- hence, 5 and 3. But my brain went back to the mental image I had been given- 5 SLASH 3.  I then finally figured out the clue: it was “513.” FIVE- THIRTEEN.


And what was significant in August? Well, that was her daughter’s birthday. 🙂

From then on, we had a great conversation. I think Sarah knows that her mom is with her in spirit now and she can stop worrying about the “ghost” in her home. I actually gave the mom a “what the heck?” regarding the dog, and she relayed back that she was sorry and didn’t realize her own “spirit” strength! Sarah is content in knowing that her “gut” was right- that she WAS being protected by this spirit, and even happier knowing that this spirit is indeed her mother.

She also knows that her mom went down fighting. And that her mom is happier than EVER being on the other side of all of this and being able to see her daughter and now her grandchildren grow.


*Names have been changed. Yes, even the dog’s.


Update: I showed the original FB post to my friend who noticed that Sarah DID mention a brother in it. I can honestly say I didn’t read that far in, but who’s to say my eye didn’t subconsciously catch that bit…? It also explains why Sarah wasn’t surprised that I knew that. Ha! Oh well. 🙂

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