19. Subtle Shmuttle – part 2

I would be remiss in talking about “non-subtle spirit prodding” if I didn’t mention a very recent experience. And I’m actually very excited to tell this story because I have been given free reign – I can tell you exactly who this is about! We are talking real names and places, people!

All right – I do need to give the history here, though. Back when all of this was just beginning for me (about three years ago, I guess?) my mom, Mickey, came to town. At that time, I was desperately looking for information and guidance, and I thought she might be a good guinea pig for me to try out my new found “talents” on. I remember being so nervous! I went into my room with a pad of paper and got into meditation mode with the goal of simply connecting to anyone that wanted to come through for her. At that time, I became aware of my grandmother (my moms mom) who was not mentally well when I knew her. I don’t recall her giving me any message – just simply making me aware of her presence. My grandfather, though, did come through and did have a message, which was “I’m sorry.” (Without getting into that whole backstory – let’s just say, he was “a little shit.” And I can say that and laugh about it because not only would he laugh also, but he would’ve probably called me that first. He was one of those old guys that was completely inappropriate and always going for the joke – even if you were the butt of it.) He also gave me “wallpaper,” which certainly seems like an odd piece of information… but then again I was sitting there listening to a spirit, so… what’s odd, really?

The next morning I came out with my trusty pad of paper and relayed this information to my mom. I told her her father said he was sorry, but I knew that kind of information could easily be something that I would know and could infer. My mom and I have talked at length about my grandfather’s… “destructive” sense of humor, if you will, so I don’t blame her for being slightly ambivalent about the whole experience. I think she was trying her best to be supportive but has also had a hard time sort of buying into all of this one hundred percent. (Although, I did tell her about the “wallpaper” and she said that when she was growing up they had one wall with crazy red chinese dragon wallpaper on it.)

Now let’s jump to about seven months ago when my mom was back visiting again. We were driving in the car, just her and I, and out of nowhere I had an intense pressure on the left side of my head. It felt like my ear was going to pop! But just ONE ear! I brought my hand to the side of my head, “What the…. Do you feel that?”

“Feel what?” my mom asked.

“That pressure! It’s just…I…” I tried to explain, but I don’t think she quite understood how odd of an experience it was for me. I semi assumed it must be a spirit thing, but I’d never felt it quite like that before, and I had no idea how to proceed, so that was that. It went away and life went on.

Just a few weeks ago, my mom was back in town again visiting. We had already spent a few days hanging out, and had just that day been at the wig store. We were indulging my mom’s curiosities about todays’s wig options (as she had once owned a wig shop in her younger years) and she was also getting increasingly concerned about her possibly thinning hair. We talked about her condition not being surprising as it would be purely genetic – both her father and grandmother both had very fine and thin hair, with grandmother essentially bald. We had a fun day with lots of laughs, of course, and my mom ended up with a really cool little hairpiece that she keeps calling a “wiglet.” (And somehow, she says it with a straight face.)

The next day, I was simply walking to the garage to get something from my car when it hit. AGAIN. Super intense pressure on the left side. Like being up in a plane before your ears pop times five. But only half of your head.

I was startled, but quickly put the pieces together that this was happening again when my mom was here. I literally went from “wow there is pressure on the side of my head” to “that’s the same pressure that happened to me last time” to “it only happens when my mom is here” to “I bet it’s spirit” and ending with “It’s grandpa and grandma Lilly” within a fraction of a second. I include that because it’s important to know that I didn’t have a chance to sit there and think about this. There was no rational mind in coming to the conclusion that it was my grandfather and my great grandmother. And that’s one of those things that for me is when I truly know from the get go that my internal dialogue had nothing to do with it.

I was paralyzed with shock. I certainly was not expecting any sort of message for my mom on this trip. I found myself standing alone in the dark garage wondering how to proceed and forgetting why I was there in the first place. It’s kind of like being in that building in California from the last post – do I tell my mom simply that her father and her grandmother are here? Will I be able to elicit more information? I walked back into the house and everybody was going about their normal routine like I hadn’t just been pressure punched in the laundry room. I felt like I was a walking zombie – I could hardly form a thought or think about anything other than what my next move was with spirit. I somehow excused myself unnoticed and went to my closet to meditate, again with my pad of paper.

When I closed my eyes and tuned out my surroundings, I was aware that both my grandfather and great grandmother were there. (This is the same “little shit” grandfather from before, but now he was accompanied by his mother as well.) My grandfather was quick to start. “I’m sorry. I’m telling you again because you believe now.” (Meaning- she believes in all this spirit stuff now, as opposed to the first time he came though.) I could tell that my great grandmother was there, but she was letting my grandpa do the talking. “We’ve tried to get your attention but you’re focused on other things.” I knew right away what he meant by this, as I’m guilty of it also. In order to get messages from spirit and loved ones, we have to have a blank mind sometimes. It’s not to say that you have to be sitting in meditation… it’s just that going from the television to our phone to our computers in a basically never ending cycle never gives us the mental downtime that they would need to catch our attention.

I then had an image of my grandfather and great grandmother giggling and they showed me how they were watching us in the wig shop the day before. My grandpa laughed and said “that is our legacy.” They thought it was funny that what they would be remembered by was their thinning hair.

I finished up my meditation faster than usual, as we were all preparing to leave to run some errands that day. (I was also afraid of being found in my closet. I could just see my poor husband walking in… “what are you doing NOW?”) So, as soon as my grandfather sort of stepped back and stopped giving information as readily, I let him go quickly and said thank you. We hopped into the car and I told my mom what had happened. This time, she was much more intrigued. “Really? REALLY? wow.” Then, in a moment I will never forget, she suddenly turns and says, “my ear is buzzing!”

I couldn’t help but smile and I said “Yes! That’s what happens!”

“It’s like a bee is buzzing but it’s only right here in this area on this one side!”

“I know! I know! That’s what happens to me!” I told her. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen my mother so thrown off guard- and it was awesome. It took her a while to stop describing it – almost as if we didn’t believe her. “This has NEVER happened to me before!”

It was like that scene in Field of Dreams where Kevin Costner is on the ground trying to save his daughter from choking on the hotdog when the ghost doctor steps off of the baseball field and the stupid brother-in-law finally sees all of the ghosts.

This was my mom’s, “When did these Ballplayers get here?” moment.*

I’m not sure what’s next for her, but I have a feeling her “Kids fair alter ego, Madame Michelle” was just to prepare us all for…. Medium Mickey!

*Please tell me you’ve seen that movie and get that reference. If not- go immediately to your television and order/find it. You can’t read a ghost blog without watching Field of Dreams. It’s a real rule, pinky swear.

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